Email to my sister - 4 am Wednesday morning:
As I fell asleep last night, I asked the universe to tell me about love. I feel that I can be "in love" with many people, all people, and it is not socially acceptable. So I am trying to understand more about that. I woke up with a feeling of incredible urgency about an hour ago. I was laying perfectly flat with my arms at my sides warm as toast on top of the covers, even though I fell asleep sitting up under the covers. My pillows had also been adjusted. I stayed in that half dream state to attempt to fulfill the sense of urgency to discover something. I was successful and the feeling of overflow/divinity in my heart grew brighter. I got up to write it down and then decided to call you because there is no net. Here is the dream:
We were staying at a hotel near the airport because you were leaving early the next morning from some foreign country that we were in. There was a man there too who I slept with. You had something to tell me/show me/help me discover for myself. The Enemy (a collective mal-prescence, incarnated as The Institution - police/government agents/THE MAN) was also trying to discover this thing. You had newly discovered it and were trying to help me find it. Somehow we were both on the plane while you were leaving. You were telling me things I must remember to find it. You gave me a bunch of documents that we had been puzzling over to keep safe from the Enemy. The documents were home-made birthday cards and things like that which we had given each other over the years. You told me to pay attention to 1 and 3. We watched a video clip where a fat man, like Hurley from Lost, nearly popped out/awoke. As we watched him accept the reality of illusion, his existence on this level flickered but he didn't know it. In my waking state, I found that this is what your fainting spells are. I found a bunch of tootsie rolls and we ate them. They turned out to be Nepali made tootsie rolls so they just tasted like chocolate and not tootsie roll. They stuck to our teeth (not sure what that was all about). The Enemy kept trying to see the documents. They were sure that they had to do with my anniversary (5 year) which was that day. They were not anniversary cards though.
Next, I was going to check on the documents and ponder them at the local museum where I had put them, partly because I thought it would be a safe place from the Enemy and partly because the Enemy demanded it through legal recourse. (ie these documents contain truth that is a world heritage, they should be in the public sphere, or something) The museum was unique in that you could wander all over it, even in places that seemed off-limits - it was like the old house I used to dream about exploring with secret stairways etc. I went up to the hall of documents and down to the end where 1 and 3 were hanging on the wall. 1's frame was empty and 3 was just gone. I asked the curator man where they were. He expressed concern and looked in a box. He pulled out the envelope of 1 and we looked inside. Instead of the birthday card I had once given you there was a photocopied slip of paper. It said a photo of this document can be found in care of Sean ..... I stopped reading. Outraged at this lack of security, we proceeded to 3. In the stead of the proper document, we found an envelope with hand written index cards in it. Upon seeing them, I immediately said, "My mom wrote these." My heart sank, the Enemy had the clues, now how would I discover the truth? On pulling out more cards, I came to the first one. They were actually written by Aunt Kim. "Of course I prefer Kim, just as a sensible person prefers queen to varican" (a dream synonym for queen - spelling suggestions include Varian, varian, vatican).
I wandered through the museum trying to make the best of the situation and trying to read the meanings everything. I told myself - it doesn't matter if those clues are gone, the answer is within me, the Enemy is merely trying to frighten me into focusing too much on the clues rather than the meaning. My sister and I are one, those things she knows, I also know. I simply must realize them. The clues are in everything, not just 1 and 3, I must learn to read them. To read them, I must be light and flowing, I must understand on a different level. I decided to take a tour of the museum - a guide is always helpful in interpreting the world. The guide pointed out things and I was having some success reading them. In the main entry way there was a beaver pond, he said there was one beaver that was always looking around at everything checking so as to be aware when something was wrong. I recalled the missing documents and my search. Yes I must be vigilant I understood. I succeeded in flowing to some extent and recalled the fat man clip. He had discovered, I tried to be like him. I demanded that the museum allow me to attend their Christmas buffet for free because of their failure to protect my documents. They gave me a ticket and escorted me to a seat. There was a TV blaring a commercial or a fake commercial above my head. It was about a tree decorating service by Married Joseph and the Last Mile. People laughed.
I woke up with a great sense of urgency. I must discover this thing and protect it from the Enemy. I realized the meaning of one and three. 1 was a card I had created and given to you - the thing I was seeking had originated in me. 3 was (when I saw it) a letter from Aunt Kim to mom - older sister to younger sister, and I had confused it for mom's writing. Just as they 2 sisters were one, so we two sister are one. The things I had been telling myself in the dream wander were the meaning of 1 and 3. The Enemy was ignorance and fear - somehow real but not real, an illusion like all else. So I discovered that the truth was inside me, but not yet what I was looking for.
The urgency was accompanied by a feeling of divinity/overflowing in my heart/love. I realized that the clues are all around and require only a clear mind to read. They point to answers that are inside me. As I got up to write, the feeling of urgency and of love mostly dissipated, a mere fragment remains. This is something I must discover immediately. Please try to read the world, I will too. There is something we must know. It is about Great Love.
I love you, my dear sister.
Hailey
10:30 am Wednesday I came across this:
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